Where My Mouth Is

I got a strong will, just weak hands

And I don't know what to do with either of them.

I'm getting my driver's license renewed this week.

It's been expired since July 27th.

I hope they don't make me re-take the driving portion or written exam.

I'm less happy today than I was yesterday.

Happy, still, but less so.

It's an odd sort of roller-coaster.

But I'm getting used to it.

And all I ever did was look up to you

And all I ever did was let you down.

I really like Taking Back Sunday.

I really want to learn to play guitar.

I'm putting it on my Christmas wish-list.

My mom bought my plane ticket home today.

I'm leaving on the 11th of December.

I'll be Alex-less for approximately 30 days.

Which I'm sort of okay with.

But mostly scared of.

I'll get to see my puppies, though, whom I miss the shit out of.

And my mom, who has a confirmed diagnosis of Alzheimer's.

Which is scary as shit.

And my step-dad, who is probably still an asshole.

Alex and I are spending part of Thanksgiving with my dad's family.

I'm a little nervous about it.

For his sake, not their's.

My grandmother's opinion is the only one that really counts, and I know she'll love him.

But I'm afraid of Alex and my father meeting.

Especially considering that I haven't even spoken to my dad since June 10th.

It's going to be extremely awkward, and I just hate to put Alex in uncomfortable situations like that.

Think of all the fun you've had

The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time

Think of all the days you've spent with just your T.V. set and I

I can barely smile.

Janey Dixey came to visit me last night.

We hung out in Alex's apartment, drank cheap vodka, and talked about our lives.

She is the most beautiful person, ever.

I put her in the same category as Ashlyn and Blair.

She's going to come and see me after Voodoo, too.

We're going to cuddle and meld into a single being.

Because that's what everyone's doing, these days.

'Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

This will the last time you get to drop my name.