Meowmeowmeow.

Alex's house, Alex's boxers, Alex's Wii.

Alex pretty much takes up my life.

Except for nights like last night when I run away and get in the car with strangers and hide downtown where He Can't Find Me.

Because, I need my personal adventures.

Alex IS an adventure, but I need more than one adventure at a time.

My personal essay for English Comp is going to be about religion. I feel really uneasy about it, because I hate talking about religion in any sort of tone, much less a personal one, but I also feel like writing about it will force me to make some key decisions.

"Your boyfriend is hardcore atheist, is that going to influence your religious inclinations?"

Absolutely not.

That would be stupid. I remember being that stupid when I was young and naive and in 9th grade. I'm bigger and better than such silliness now.

"What's your current view on God?"

I really don't have an answer. It's just so, so hard for me to discuss something that I view to be an immensely private subject. I really just do not feel that it's appropriate for casual conversation. But, because I leave myself so little time to think about the big picture, I forget that I'll eventually run out of details and have to confront my beliefs (or lack of, thereof.)

Right now, I can honestly say that I believe in God. I am not a Christian, because I just do not agree with too many of the conformities and stereotypes that come with that label. I'm not at all sure whether or not I believe in Heaven or Hell, although I'm thoroughly convinced that I am n fact going to Hell.

Sometimes, I cry thinking about it.

And I don't know why I'm telling you nine dedicated readers this.

I feel so emotionally attached to this blog, to these entries, and I guess that I just need for you to know me. Not Jordan the cute, small girl that's sort of quirky and eccentric. And not Jordan the sassy bitch that constantly looks like she just woke up. And not Jordan the loud, obnoxious, too-drunk drunk girl.

Jordan.