BrownBear:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a shitty friend. You've done so much for me, and I never do anything in return.
You're my rolemodel.
And I'm a failure.
You're so, so important to me, and I just can't be like you in the ways that I want to be. I don't know the right words or how to comfort people. I don't know how to not be selfish and whiny and self-centered.
I've spent these years trying to live up to your image, and now I realize that I can't. That I'll always be too lazy to really try and make things work.

I need you.
I'm losing you.