Why, How Naughty of Google.

This is one of the first images that comes up if you google image "images." No, I am not shitting you. Yes, I would love to learn more.


In other news, don't bother texting me and don't expect a call: My Father has shut both of these routes of communication off of my phone. Pleasant surprise? Not really.

"You are drunk, Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk."
"Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill, will be sober."

--Winston Churchill

"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

--Winston Churchill

I don't think you realize how awesome Churchill was, is and will always be. You're underestimating him by not doing thourough reseach on his entire life. GO! LEARN! You'll thank me for it later, gator.

Mineminemine.

I know I'm selfish and stupid and ditzy and sensless and spiteful and a little slow on the up-take.
I would never deny that.
All of those adjectives describe me, and I like to think that I'm honest enough to accept these things about myself.
Because I know that I have redeeming qualities. Last night I pelted people with Jolly Ranchers. The night before, I forgave something that I've been harboring a lot of hatred and anger for. The night before that, I cried and told my momma that I missed her (because no one knows how to handle tears like a momma does.)
I've done some really terrible things to some really wonderful people.
I've been really mean to Jon, and he didn't deserve that.
I've ignored Mears when she maybe really needed me to listen to her.
I've cut Michael's sentences off when he had something important to say.
I've treated my favorite people in the world like shit when they were at their worst.


But....

I've also made incredible differences in a lot of people's life.
I wake up intending to make people smile.
I always do my best.


And that has to count for something.

Pikachu, real life.

Look at how damn cute this thing is.





















For the record, I am not addicted to poke'mon.
I can stop playing anytime I want.
I could put it down right now-- right after I catch a Vulpix.
It's not that I want to play it 24/7. I'm obligated to.


You wouldn't understand.
It's a trainer thing.

I hate Relationships.

Well, that's a lie.
I pretty much hate everything.

E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Including you. And me. And, of course, relationships.

Mostly, people that are in relationships piss me off. They're like married people, whatwith their general surprise that you're not in a relationship? But I've got a friend of a friend who's related to a pretty nice guy that would just LOOOOOOOVE to meet a girl like you!

If I'm single, it's either by choice, or it's a touchy subject.

Shut the hell up and let me revel in my lonely abyss. It's nice, dark, quiet, and it doesn't text me "wuts up?" every five minutes. It doesn't get mad when it finds out that I went to a party last night without it, and I don't have to ask to cancel our subway date so I can sit on my couch sans pants and play guitar hero all day.



Moral of the story?
Single = Awesome.

Picture to prove it?


















Look at how unattractive this kiss is. Why would you want to subject yourself to this?
I consider my point proved.

xoxo,
readytomingle.

First Blog

I've never really blogged before.
I guess I want that to be my first statement as a sort of disclaimer: a big, flashing sign that screams, "Turn back now!" so that you can't say I didn't warn you.

I used to be a writer, though. When I was younger and sweeter I wrote with great sincerity about the world and it's problems and the oh-so simple solutions. I didn't have much of a vocabulary, but my writings were honest and that made them readable. I wrote in clichés strung together by growing pains.

Over the past few years I've un-learned how to be so honest with myself. What people think of me has become overwhelming important, and I no longer speak or write with the world in mind. Why think of the world, when I am so much more important?


And so I've decided to begin this blog for a variety of reasons.

To self-indulge my growing ego, to get to know myself, to meet and know other people, and to combine my new style of 5-dollar words and my old style of sincerity into some sort of an accomplishment.

I’m not going to introduce myself because that feels counter-productive. But I would very like for you to introduce yourself.