T O D A Y

I was snooping around on my father's facebook wall and found out that he and Heather have broken up.

Mind you, this is the same Heather that is literally only four years older than me, that my father broke up with near the beginning of their relationship because she reminded him too much of me, that had his baby out of wedlock, and caused my little brother to lose close friends because they were preacher's kids and weren't allowed to hang out with someone who's father was living such a "sinful" lifestyle.

But I'M the piece of shit.

I'M the one who helped raise all of his kids until he disowned me.

I'M the one who became his maid at 13 during Christmas, Easter, and summer breaks.

I'M the one who gave up visiting my grandparents so that I could do both of the above things for him.

I'M the one that is turning out okay.

I don't know how Alex loves me, how any man could love me, when my own father doesn't.

And I guess that's why I hate him so much.

I can deal with his attitude, with his arrogance, and with his closed-mindedness.

But the fact that he cannot love me as I am, can only love the Me that he wishes I were, makes him unbearable to be around.