I Know I Say It A Lot

But I really do love Alex. Even if we don't spend forever together, I hope that I always remember how happy right now.

Earlier, Alex turned to me and said, "Why are you always sad? You do it to yourself, you know. Your life is not that bad."

He's right. I have so many good people in my life. Grace is my best friend. Eric is my roommate. Alex is my boyfriend. I am infinite, and I can do anything.

I'm failing some classes right now. It's upsetting because I had bronchitis for a week, and it turned out to be a really important week, and it's really setting me back. I'm really disappointed by my performance so far this semester. But, you know what?

W H O C A R E S?

My entrepreneurship teacher last semester told me that it's a proven fact: Most A+ students grow up to work for someone. C- students grow up to own their own businesses. One of her former students, a woman that slept through every class and just barely passed, came in as living proof. She owns five cafes now. She didn't learn anything in college except how to think for herself and how to bullshit under pressure.

And I know that this is just an excuse for my bad grades. But I really do feel good about how my life is going to turn out. I know that Alex and Grace and Eric will probably not be in my life forever. Mishon used to (and may still) have this terrible fear of all of her friends drifting apart after high school.

Well, good. We all have drifted. I rarely talk to any of my once-best friends. I hate a lot of them, now that I can look at them from a distance. Some of them I never liked, I befriended them just because I needed a friend. I waded through a lot of shit to get to the three golden friends I have now. Grace, Alex, and Eric aren't my only friends, but they certainly are my best friends. I would give up any number of my old friends just to have one of those three be in my life longer. Jessica, Mishon, Kenny, my other MSA friends. Aiden, Lance, my other Gulfport friends. Almost no one I have ever known compares to my three current best friends.

And I will say this all again in a few years. When I've graduated from UNO and moved on to bigger and better things. It's unnatural to hold on to the past and to old friends. Everyone should break their own molds, go out, and do something different.

I am happy, blogville (blog city, bloghood.) (I love Ashlyn Ervin.)

I am so, so happy. And there is no former friendship, no former friend, no former group that I would rather share this happiness with than the friends I have right now, today, in this very moment.